One thing to another

I guess originally this blog started out as something totally different. It was about my weight loss journey but it has also turned into something else in the revealing of my darker side. I hope you will all bear along with me along the way because its a theraphy of sorts for me. Any therapist I have been to always said to journal about your feelings, write a letter to your mother you never will send, but get it out of your head because what we allow in our heads can overwhelm us but when we get it out, we can learn to deal with it, fix it, heal it.

In the end that is all I am trying to do is to heal myself and I guess along those lines there will be happy times as well as sad ones and I know in the coming months some down right painful moments, but I must go thru the stages of loss. I must somehow mourn the loss of the childhood I never had so I can become who God really intended for me to be and somehow I don't think He intended for me to be this hurt person I currently am, this person who can't trust (even God most times), doesn't know love or how to show it.

I know at the core of my being there is a great and wonderful person inside. A beautiful butterfly who is ready to break free of her safe chrysalis and spread her wings.