Child Labor Its a beautiful thing!

Kevin and I were talking a couple weeks ago when we had Grace about how I'd like to get a cleaning service to come in once every other week and just run the vacuum, dust, mop and scrub the bathrooms.

I use to have someone do this when I lived on the East Coast - I was working full time and going to school full time at night and doing homework on weekends, I barely had time to do anything let alone clean - I had a, well she was a friend but that friendship turned sour, that cleaned houses on the side, so I paid her cash, she came every other Friday and did the basics, dust, vacuum, mop, scrub bathrooms - nothing in the bedrooms and no laundry or anything - I paid her $60, its what she asked for - AH it was so nice coming home Friday after work and having a clean house.

So anyhow back to this conversation Kevin and I were having, it just happened to be in front of Grace - she said how much would you pay.. I said well its been some time but I guess it would be about $75 or so, I'd have to get some estimates, Can I do it she said... I just kind of shot her a look like yeah right - no I'm serious. Now mind you for the most part Grace is a good kid but she has never been made to clean anything or help around the house so I was a bit leary... She said just give me a chance, tell me what you want done, I'll do it and then you tell me if you like it.

So today I made a list of what I'd expect, again the basic stuff, and well.... I have to admit, I'm becoming pleasantly pleased with the results... shocked the heck out of me when she even took some windex to the front window on the inside but still, and she vacuumed down the steps which I did NOT have on the list. The upstairs bathroom looks quite nice, she has done the downstairs bathroom but I have yet to see the results, she has done the dining room and is now on to mopping the kitchen... damn I might just have to come of $75 after all... And if she keeps up the good work, I'd be more than happy to. Plus I think the side benefit here is, she will be more apt to keep it clean along the way!

SCORE! for me.

Thanks for F'n me without even saying THANK YOU

I feel so completely violated right now... Sunday I log into my email, like any start to any other day, to find my in box flooded with email from PayPal. So I start from the bottom and work my way up and well the gist of it is PayPal feels my account was accessed by a unathorized 3rd party - well I ain't no computer genius but I know enough to know NEVER EVER click on a link within an email regarding these kinds of things, could be some type of phishing scam.

So I do the good non techno geek thing, close out my email, open a new browser, type paypal's web addy in my addy box and go to their site. Log in and sure nuff my account has a hold on it - so PayPal takes me thru steps to resolve the hold - change password,

CHECK,

change security questions,

CHECK,

verify the account tied to my PayPal account,

CHECK....

A few later I get an email from PayPal saying my hold has been removed and they certainly acknowledge that some 3rd party asshole, no sorry ASSHOLE, did try to access my account to the tune of $968 and some change but no funds were sent to anyone. Ok problem solved....

OR SO I THOUGHT!

So its now Monday and I log onto my bank account to make sure a bill pay went thru and what do I see, but $885 and some change withdrawn from my account by PayPal.

WTF is going on - I'm in immediate panic now... well... because I ain't a rich girl for gosh sakes I work at a school district - so immediately I find a phone number on PayPal's website and call customer service - I am told that while they acknowledge that an unauthorized 3rd party did try to access my account and they stopped that, that they have no way of knowing I didn't want those funds taken from my bank account and put into my PayPal account, you fucking WHAT.... ok dumb asses so now what do we do to rectify this situation as NOW you've overdrawn my bank account for gosh sakes - well ms. it will be 3-5 business days before the money POSTS to your PayPal account THEN you can request a transfer back to your bank account, of which it will take another 3-5 business days to get it back to your bank account AND get this, cost you $1.50.

YOU ARE GOING TO FUCKING CHARGE ME FOR YOUR SCREW UP please tell me your joking. Uh no mame that is our policy.... what to steal other peoples money... well mame no unauthorized person got your money... UH YES they did and their name is PAYPAL! I was fuming, FUMING and what pisses me off even more is that PayPal probably ONLY caught this because I don't keep those kind of funds in my PayPal account... I had like $80 in there, to cover iTunes purchases and stuff so what PayPal did is take the difference of what I had, the $82 something, and then took the add'l $885 something from my checking account to make up what this other asshole was trying to swipe.

So now its beenies and weenies until I can get this financial matter resolved - I mean what a flippin' nightmare. This person might as well broke into my home, and stole my purse and my car keys for gosh sakes cause I'm not so sure I just didn't get fucked without as much as a thank you as it was. I didn't even get to smoke a cigarette afterwards.

Would have been 49.....

Well tomorrow would have been my ex's 49th birthday, but his death on Oct 20th kind of negates all that. Its sad really, Michael was a wonderful, kind, caring and giving soul and knowing he has two loser brothers that are still here just kind of makes me wonder - but God has different ideas then I do.

Mike and I remained friends after our divorce, we'd chat via phone and/or email at least once a month. A lot of things went into our seperation and subsequent divorce and I was as guilty as he, maybe more so on different levels. He only wanted the best for me and wanted me to be happy and well... I wasn't sure what that meant for me, and reality is, I still don't. I've been thinking about our life together and how I wish I had said some things that I didn't and now will never get the chance. I constantly wonder, if I had stayed, could I have stopped the drinking and other things he was doing? Would my staying have meant he did less of them then he was in the end? Would my staying have meant he might have started to take better care of himself?

I just wish I had one more day, just one day to say the things to him that I've never had the courage to say - but life doesn't work like that. Tomorrow will certainly be a difficult day.... I will have to make a point to call his friend Gary too. Gary and Mike had been best of buddies since they were 17, sadly Gary was the one to find Michael dead and I know being without his best friend, even though they fought from time to time, has been very hard for Gary.

Michael I hope you know you are missed, but I also like to think God had reasons for needing you more then we did.

How do you spell relief?

SUMMER VACATION... since my college operates on quarters rather then semesters, tonight happens to be my last final for this quarter, then Monday, Summer I starts, but not for me - between a new full time job, a software conversion at said job, and triathlon season coming up, I've decided to put my education on hold for now.

Its still important to me to finish but some other things need attending to right now and my pea brain can only handle so much - besides I am sick and freakin' tired of group projects where no one does a damn thing, yet MY grade depends on it - if I could handle failure, I'd just do my part of the group project and let everyone else fend for themselves, but I can't handle anything less than a B.

Sometimes I wish my job had a summer vacation.... I mean I do work for a school district but my position is year round - life at school doesn't just shut down because kids and teachers are out for the summer... and of course folks think the office staff have nothing to do all summer... please if it wasn't for what we do take care of over the summer, the whiny teachers would only have more to whine about... not that all teachers are whiney but good gosh some of them drive me crazy.

I should be studying for this final but I just can't get into it and hell if I don't know it by now, I'm pretty screwed anyway.

A whole new meaning to the term HOT DISH

Egads... talk about freaking you out... went to warm up something in the microwave, didn't want to dirty a dish so I grabbed a paper sort of plate from the cabinet, popped my stuff in the microwave and thank goodness I didn't like walk off to take a pee or anything.... damn thing wasn't even in the microwave for 30 seconds, then all the sudden I saw this FIRE appear in my microwave... I turned off the microwave, pulled the plate out and tried to blow out the fire... finally had to throw the plate, still on fire, with my food, in the sink and hose it down - good gosh.... now the entire house smells like a fire, my snack is soaked and when I turned over what was left of the flippin' plate is said
WARNING COULD BE FLAMMABLE, DO NOT PLACE IN THE MICROWAVE... I mean who the hell makes a paper like plate you can't put in the damn microwave....

Thank goodness I was right in the kitchen getting some tea to go with my snack or I could have burnt down the house - definately a whole new meaning for the term HOT DISH!

SNOW??? WTF!

I'm beginning to wonder if I live in Alaska or what. I can't believe they are calling for S N O W this weekend - damn it anyway I am sick and tired of being cooped up inside - i despise the cold and so wish when I moved in 2004 I would have moved to California or Florida where its stinkin' hot

My new laptop

Is pretty neat... nothing fancy, don't really need anything fancy, but geesh what a difference a few years makes in laptop production... Old laptop is pretty heavy.. got it in 2000, not only does it have a full qwerty keyboard but it has the number pad on the side - however the sucker is big and bulky... and well... dying - its lived its life I guess, and while it was a gift, it was quite expensive and was top of the line when I got it...

This is a Dell Vostro that I got for less than $500 and that was with upping the memory on the thing too, ordered it and had it in less than a week - good thing it will get plenty of use this weekend lots of research to do for school for papers that are due next week that I've not really even started on!

Has Spring FINALLY Sprung?

Well it sure seems so this weekend, its been beautiful. Haven't been out doing things outside as much as I'd like but that is what procrastination on school projects will get ya - the penalty of being stuck inside when you do get a nice day.

Told ya God had a sense of humor

Yes even though the calendar says S P R I N G.... the snow, to me, still says WINTER! We got more snow this weekend, it started on Good Friday. Totals ranged from 10.5 inches in Gurnee area to a couple of inches further south... I think our area was 5 or so.

Enough already. I agree bunnies are at times fluffy and white... but made from snow?

Snow man... NO Snow Bunny!!

Please Hear What I’m Not Saying

Don’t be fooled by me.
Don’t be fooled by the face I wear.
For I wear a mask, a thousand masks, masks that I’m afraid to take off, and none of them is me.
Pretending is an art that’s second nature with me, but don’t be fooled.
For God’s sake don’t be fooled.
I give you the impression that I’m secure, that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well as without, that confidence is my name and coolness is my game, that the water’s calm and I’m in command, and that I need no one.
But don’t believe me.
My surface may seem smooth but my surface is my mask, ever-varying and ever-concealing.
Beneath lies no complacence.
Beneath lies confusion and fear and aloneness.
But I hide this. I don’t want anybody to know it.

I panic at the thought of my weakness and fear being exposed.
That’s why I frantically create a mask to hide behind, a nonchalant sophisticated façade, to help me pretend, to shield me from the glance that knows.
But such a glance is precisely my salvation. My only hope and I know it.
That is, if it’s followed by acceptance, if it’s followed by love.
It’s the only thing that can liberate me from myself, from my own self-built prison walls, from the barriers I so painstakingly erect.
It’s the only thing that will assure me of what I can’t assure myself, that I’m really worth something.
But I don’t tell you this. I don’t dare, I’m afraid to.
I’m afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance, will not be followed by love.
I’m afraid you’ll think less of me, that you’ll laugh, and your laugh will kill me.
I’m afraid that deep down I’m nothing, that I’m just no good, and that you will see this and reject me.

So I play my game, my desperate pretending game, with a façade of assurance without and a trembling child within.
So begins the glittering but empty parade of masks, and my life becomes a front.
I idly chatter to you in the suave tones of surface talk.
I tell you everything that’s really nothing, and nothing of what’s everything, of what’s crying within me.
So when I’m going through my routine, do not be fooled by what I’m saying.
Please listen carefully and try to hear what I’m not saying, what I’d like to be able to say, what for survival I need to say, but what I can’t say.

I don’t like to hide.
I don’t like to play superficial phoney games.
I want to stop playing them.
I want to be genuine and spontaneous and me, but you’ve got to help me.
You’ve got to hold out your hand even with that’s the last thing I seem to want.
Only you can wipe away from my eyes the blank stare of the breathing dead.
Only you can call me into aliveness.
Each time you’re kind and gentle and encouraging, each time you try to understand because you really care, my heart begins to grow wings, very small wings, very feeble wings, but wings!
With your power to touch me into feeling you can breathe life into me.
I want you to know that.
I want you to know how important you are to me, how you can be a creator, an honest to God creator, of the person that is me, if you choose to.
You alone can break down the wall behind which I tremble, you alone can remove my mask, you alone can release me from my shadow world of panic and uncertainty, from my lonely prison, if you choose to.
Please choose to.
Do not pass me by.
It will not be easy for you.

A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls.
The nearer you approach to me the blinder I may strike back.
It’s irrational, but despite what the books say about man, often I am irrational.
I fight against the very thing I cry out for.
But I am told that love is stronger the strong walls, and in this lies my hope.
Please try to beat down those walls with firm hands but with gentle hands for a child is very sensitive.

Who am I, you may wonder?
I am someone you know very well.
For I am every man you meet and I am every woman you meet.

Charles C. Finn

*************************************************************************************

I bought this book recently, like yesterday recently, it's called Healing the Child Within - and just quickly flipping thru pages I came across this poem that really speaks to me. I didn't grow up within an alcoholic family but I DEFINATELY grew up in a very dsyfunctional family. Rarely and I do mean rarely did we hear the words, I LOVE YOU, or you did wonderful on that, or what a great child I have. No we heard you fucking kids are the reason.... (fill in the blank), I wish I never had you kids... your stupid, what a stupid idea, your ugly, why can't you be like.... (fill in the blank) - I learned very quickly how NOT to show emotion or express my feelings, I learned quickly how to be the 'perfect' child but somehow.... it was NEVER perfect enough.

I continually seek to find how to heal this pain.

GOD has a sense of humor

I can remember as a kid growing up in Indiana some brutal winters, cold, snow, etc. But with the issue of global warming Chicago has become a milder place in the winter. Well didn't seem so this winter. We've had more snow than we've had of recent winters and some down right bitter and below normal temps.

But we finally saw a glipse of spring the other day, this is where God's sense of humor comes in... Thursday and Friday were in the mid 50's it damn near felt like a heatwave, kids out in shorts, folks outside with out coats, bunnies in the yard. Well it was like God was waving a carrot in our face, or in my case... chocolate, because Saturday it all came to an end, the carrot was ripped away and it was chilly again. And today when I was out on my run, I know I saw snow flakes. I had REALLY hoped we were done with the cold and snow, but someone else has another idea.

Oh well soon enough grasshopper, soon enough.

Cruise - WHAT a vacation!

This was my first cruise experience but by no means will it be my last! What a FAB vacation. Left COLD and SNOWY Chicago on Sat 2/2 bound for Miami was a tad concerned because it started snowing here on Thursday, snowed all day, not stopping until sometime Friday, we got around 8 to 10", but thankfully what ever mess happened with cancelled flights on Friday was pretty much cleared up by Saturday - our flight was about 20 minutes late, no big deal. Oh boy Miami was so nice and warm! Stayed overnight as our cruise didn't leave until Sunday...

Got up Sunday took a run toward the Port of Miami but couldn't get to the ship... we got shooed away by security, but from where we were we could see our ship, Freedom of the Seas, and boy was she H U G E! Got back to the hotel, showered, ate breakfast and then figured might as well head to the port of Miami. We were on the Royal Carribean line and I was told its the best line and I have to say I'd agree. From the moment we got there, from checking in, till the time we left, the staff was wonderful. We actually got to board much sooner than we thought, but could not go to out staterooms until 2pm - the ship had just docked in Miami with another 4000+ passengers and they have to turn that ship around for the next group - was ok with me plenty to explore.

I was in awe from the moment I stepped on board. Not only a huge ship but beautiful inside, just beautiful, the manner in which this place was decked out rivals any top of the line hotel. 14 decks to explore. There were even parts of the ship we never saw. Our stateroom was on deck 2, it was small but why pay for a huge room when the reality is you don't or at least we didn't spend a lot of time there.

We left the dock Sunday around 5:30pm. Monday was an entire day at sea. After leaving cold and snowy Chicago, it was nice to bask in the warmth of the sun... of course I could have done without the bit of red I got :o) - the joy of being a redhead, who wasn't smart enough to put sunscreen on earlier.

Tuesday was our stop in Labadee Haiti where we did a kayaking excursion... UM never kayaked before but I think once I got the hang of it we were ok.. of course I feel on my ass just trying to get in the thing - tis ok plenty of cushion back there.

Wednesday found us in Ocho Rios Jamacia - there about 12 or so from our group had a private catamaran excursion - what a BLAST! We were taken to a snorkeling spot where our guide dove down and brought up a sea urchin, we all got to hold it and then he asked if we'd like to feed the fish... so he chipped away at this sea urchin, creating a hole in the side and the fish came from everywhere to feed on it, it was so cool, it was like they were literally eating out of your hand and well... they were.. Then he went down again and this time brought up a black spiny star fish. After snorkeling we head over to Dunn River Falls where we got to climb the actual water fall - 900 feet up - it was so much work and so much fun- then it was back on the catamaran to head back to the dock - the rum punch was flowing on the way back - the crew was a blast. Once back we headed to Margaritaville for some lunch and of course a Margarita!

Thursday had us in Grand Cayman - one of my favorite spots but I prefer the East end of the island to the touristy 7 mile beach area - but Kevin and I did a snorkeling adventure - the boat crew and other passengers weren't as cool as our Jamacia adventure, but the fish were certainly more plentifiul. We snorkeled in two spots, a shipwreck area, hell even without the fish just checking out this sunken ship was neat, then 2nd stop was a reef area.

Friday found us in Cozumel - this day we decided to shop and pick up souveniers. We found this interesting little bar where we had a huge frozen Margarita - brain freeze in a pretty glass - come to find out the owners were from Virginia and Hungary, they met on a cruise ship where they worked, fell in love and once the contracts were up, jumped ship for Cozumel and opened a bar.

Saturday was another day at Sea and then back in port on Sunday. The food onboard the ship was great, no matter if you ate in the dining room or in one of the cafe's, everything was good. Our head waiter in the dining room was wonderful, always making suggestions for the menu and/or wine, got us whatever we wanted and on lobster night, even put extra lobsters in the center of the table for all to enjoy, he did the same thing on surf and turf night - there is definately an advantage to the later dinner seating if you ask me - extra's if you want and no rush to get dressed for dinner when coming back from excursions - after dinner he'd always explain our next port of call and cool things to do, plus what was on tap for the next nights dinner.

Each morning our bed was made and room cleaned and each night our bed was turned down and a cool animal made from towels on our bed, with some mints. The entertainment on board ran from a super bowl party to a Motown Review, to an iceskating show, to a magic act, to comedy and others we didn't even see - there truly is something for everyone on board, even two night clubs that you had to be 17 or under to get into. TOP Notch service everywhere!

My only regret is I got sick the last couple of days. I felt a sore throat coming on Tuesday-ish, even started to lose my voice, but then felt fine... but by Friday night it was like someone hit me in the head - my head was pounding, my sinuses completely blocked, ears plugged and didn't know it at the time but I was running a fever - I wanted so badly to stay up and party that last night with Debbie, as it was 80's night on Friday, but I was miserable, my face was even all puffy, I ate dinner and was back in bed soon after. With Sat being another day at sea, I just layed up on the deck most of the day, might as well stay warm in the sun. Sunday and the plane ride home proved to be more than I could deal with. I felt so bad and I was a total bitch, even snapped at some lady in the airport - found myself in tears a couple of times on the plane when my ears could not pop and then all the sudden they did, it was like a knife going thru my head... But the worst was leaving 80+ degrees and coming home to a temp of 0, 40mph winds and a windchill of below zero - TAKE ME BACK PLEASE!

2008 Ridin' for Research

On March 2, 2008 I will be participating in a 6 hr indoor spinning
event to raise funds for childhood cancer research. I would
appreciate your support. If you would like to donate, and remember,
no donation is to small, please follow the below link (or copy and
paste it) to get my personal donations page.

http://www.kintera.org/faf/r.asp?t=4&i=256524&u=256524-205401454&e=15...


Thank you for your support!


Kim

Almost Cruise Time

So you think I'd be laid back and relaxed... NOT.... I will miss two classes of Science, Feb 2nd and 9th, 2 classes in Marketing 5th and 7th, 1 in Organizational behavior and one in Math.... and of course the week I come back to class its the final week of this quarter - so I will walk smack into finals....

Not one instructor will allow me to make up missed quizzes/tests or turn in papers late so I've had to work all weekend on getting things turned in ahead of time..

My entire weekend has been homework and I swear I have ADD because I can NOT sit and work for hours on end on a project I must have breaks. My back is killing me from being hunched over this freaking laptop.

I can only hope all this work I have to do ahead of time will allow me to relax and enjoy the time I am gone....

Sometimes Family drives me crazy

I love my brother dearly, believe me if something happened to him, I'd feel so lost. So I get this odd text message from my brother, but it wasn't a message from him it was a message that said do you want to recieve a message from this person?

Well sure he is my brother... fuckin' eh I could kill him.. this photo comes thru of my brothers van totally destroyed - dude what the hell is wrong with you sending me a picture like that and not calling to tell my you are OK!

So immediately I call my brother and say what the hell happened and are you OK? My heart was in my throat I tell ya.... well he is ok, but his van is totalled. Apparently on his way to work today round 4:30/5am.... this asshole pulls in front of him on the highway, the roads are slick from snow overnight, this person is now swearving so my brother starts to do what he can to avoid hitting this person or getting hit by this person..... his only option was the shoulder of the road, where there sat a parked semi truck.

Thank GOD his van hit that parked truck on the passengers side and thankfully NO one was in the van with my brother. But the entire front end is pancaked, the air bags went off... Of course mr macho man didn't go to the hospital....

Never send your sister a picture like that without calling first!

Changing jobs.... AGAIN :o)

Hey we just don't live in the work for the same employer for the rest of your life era anymore, now do we....

I started at the Catholic Press Association on 10/12, spent my first two weeks in New York. One week of training, the second week was packing, closing and moving the office from NY to IL.

First lets back up to say I was very sad to see my previous boss, Pat, leave Addison D4 and move to Elmhurst 205, but much like the rest of the world, Pat had to do the best thing for herself career wise. She is a great boss, has her moments but hell we all do now don't we, but 99% of the time, she is a great boss. She will jump in and roll up her sleeves to help her staff, if her staff is willing and able to take on additional tasks she shows them and gives them the responsibility, she is willing to groom you to become more, if that is what you want. So June 30th she moved on.

I began searching for a better position for myself. I felt I was worth more then the crappy raise the board of education decided the district staff was worth - you know it really sucks when you bust ass and get the same % raise as some slacker that calls in sick every Monday/Friday - but anyhow....

So I began my search, went on interviews and started to become discouraged, but then things finally started to happen. Long and short, I got an offer and took it. However during the process of them calling for my references, I got a call from Pat who said to me "does this mean if something comes open in Elmhurst you won't consider coming back and working with me again?" UH no doesn't mean that at all, simply means, make me a decent offer...

Well time goes by and long about November Pat does have a position come up. She had a payroll person who had been working odd hours when Pat came on board on July 1, this person had been taking care of a sick husband. Then this lady became ill herself, whe was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I am guessing the prognosis wasn't really good, I think it might be pretty advanced stages, and the woman is in her 60s the district worked w/o this payroll person for a while, each employee taking on parts of the job, but the district soon realized that couldn't go on forever. So the position was posted, I applied, I interviewed twice, and was sort of offered the job about 4 wks ago...

I say sort of because the district had to make sure they had all their I's dotted and T's crossed regarding the family medical leave act. So Pat asked me to hang in there, the position was mine, it was just a matter of when I could formally be given a starting salary and date... well I'm THRILLED to say that came Monday night. Pat was like you can call me back and let me know... I said ok, but knew I was taking the job.. I mean hello, no brainer... more money, more vacation, better insurance, 3 miles from home, no commute to downtown and no out of pocket for a monthly train pass, and working for a boss I admire and enjoy working for.... UH NO Sorry don't want the job.. NOT!

So I begin my time at Elmhurst 205 on January 23rd and I will be thrown immediately into learning two types of software - the district is going through a conversion that is starting the wk of the 22nd... so I will have to be trained on both the old system and the new as I am sure they will have to run them side by side for a bit - it will be hectic for a tad, but I just need to remember to breath and remind myself anything new takes time to learn and 2 months from now you will wonder why you ever worried about any of it...

Been a while

Well I started Elite and I'm still working it, have hit some bumps in the road. Seems whenever I start to eat a more healthy and balanced diet, constipation issues set in. I've tried many an over the counter thing, as well as cleansing products, nothing is seeming to do the trick. Not going for a day or two I can probably handle but for 3, 4, 5 days or more - well one becomes quite miserable.

This time I'm trying a more holistic approach. I don't want a regular doctor who will just give me a script for some drug, without trying to get to the underlying cause, so I'm trying chiropractic. Plus having some upper back issues anyhow. Will work with chiro for a bit, even try some accupressure and/or accupuncture, if I don't see some improvement, then it will be to a gastrointestinal guy for those icky tests to see if there is some blockage or narrowing somewhere.

But I have lost about 13 pounds thus far, however its time to really step it up!

It's all Happening Perfectly....

I hope that can be my motto for the next year. I have decided to take the plunge and join the Leanness Lifestyle Elite Program(www.leannesslifestyle.com/elite). It is a year long program where I will work more pesonally and closely with the founder David Greenwalt.

I don't truely recall how I came to know Dave and the LL some 5+ years ago. I think I was on a website regarding Body for Life, from there had heard about the bodychangers website, from there found Stacie in WI who had made a wonderful phsyique transformation and from there found Leanness Lifestyle - that is what took her from A-Z and finally the body she desired.

I joined the LL (www.leannesslifestyle.com) in Jan of 2002. As I've mentioned before somewhere in this blog, I had gotten on the scale Jan 1, 2002, and weighed 215 pounds. Somehow that was a real wake up call for me. I started to apply the knowledge of Dave and the LL program, made some wonderful friendships via the club forum and by April 2002, I had lost over 20 pounds.

Around the beginning of April 02, Dave was offering a challenge or intensive as he called them at the time, called Diva II. Obviously this was the 2nd one he had done and I heard so many great things regarding Diva I. When this intensive was offered I knew I had to be a part of it. I had to submit an essay as to why I felt I should be one of the 30 candidates chosen for this women's only group challenge. Somewhere I think I still have that essay, but anyhow I was called we talked on the phone a bit and I was one of the 30 chosen.

It was a wild ride. I began that challenge at 180, and since it WAS 5 years ago I can't recall if this challenge was 10 wks or 14. I know it was NOT 12 as Dave didn't want to use the 12 wk format because that is what BFL is based on. I am almost positive our intensive was 10 wks - I have a finishers certificate with exact dates that is packed up somewhere. I literally worked my butt off and at the end of this intensive I was 150 (where is that damn certificate). Our bodyfat had to be done with calipers by a certified trainer or DR. so this was the same time in my life I found my first and most awesome trainer, Mike Farmer. He had to do my BF 3 times during the intensive, beginning, middle and end - and yes somewhere packed away too are those results. But when he asked exactly what I was doing, and we got to chatting, I realized not only was he good looking, but very sweet and thought I'd give some personal training a try. BEST decision I made at that time believe me. He pushed me and pushed me hard on resistance training and I GREW to love it. Loved my time with him, loved being pushed. Our meetings went from 2X per week to 3X per week and I stuck with him for 2 years until I moved in 2004 - I think I became one of his favorite clients..

After this challenge ended I continued to stay at 150, up a pound or two on occasion but I'd bet the average was 150 - then like the first time when I needed another push, Dave was offering the Advanced Diva Challenge in April 2003 - this was an 8 wk challenge and then 8 wks of maintenance (always harder than losing) - started at 150 ended at 135 - for a very short time I actually did hit 129, but I just didn't like how I looked at that weight. Then the usually yo-yo bullshit. Well I did manage to stay 135 - 140 for sometimes... The yo-yo began again in 2004.

That was about the time I divorced, moved to IL and just in general had some life changes going on. However I did not get above 150. I decided I was finally going to compete in amateur bodybuilding. Well ok how it started was Erin... she said she was going to do Kevin Noble's show in Nov 2004, made mention of it on the LL board and then life things happened for her and she decided not to do it. However she had let the cat out of the bag that I was doing it with her.. well a tumble effect happened as many members of the LL group were planning to come, some had hotel and tickets purchased already - being the guilt ridden soul I am, I had to go thru with it.

So Nov 2004 I competed. I came in at 140 but it wasn't really a lean, body fat wise, 140. I've always had big ole thighs and it shows on stage. But I placed 5th... 5th outta 5 :o) but had fun with it. Debbie flew from Delaware to support me, and members of the leanness lifestyle group. However I think the shining moment for me was when I finished my individual routine and Colin was backstage and said to me "Kim you were the best one out there you are going to get 1st I just know it" - well I knew there was no way in hell, but while trying to choke back tears I said to Colin as long as I am first in your eyes THAT is all that matters to me.

So the rubber band that was pulled so tight before totally came undone. And I shot up to close to 180 again... Then I hooked up with Jen Abrams around the 160 mark in November 2005, we worked together and I competed again in May 2006 again at 140 but a leaner 140. Then BAM there goes that rubber band again.... The sport of illusion and extremes.

So anyhow here I am again, had hit 180, yes this time I made it there and I decided I needed to push of David Greenwalt again, so I've become an Elite client. Its a year long program and hopefully between David as my coach, Kevin as my support (along w/tons of other friends) and Rich my shrink.... I will figure out what stops me from living the lean life I know I can.

So October 9, 2008 I hope I have learned a LOT about myself in that time.

New Job!

Last time I was bitching about summer hours. Well I've been really disheartened with my job at the district and I have started searching for a new position.

I had hopes that our Board of Education would take into account the progress and all the things I have taken on over the last year when the time for raises came on July 1. I know my previous supervisor, who left on June 30th, told the BOE what a great job I was doing, how much more reponsibility I've taken on then the person who previously held the job, but to them I guess our positions are a dime a dozen. So the only thing to do is begin searching and I did just that.

Seems like it takes forever once you start sending out resumes, then all the sudden, weeks later the phone calls start to come in. I spoke with a gentleman who is an Exec Director for an organization. This company is moving headquarters from NY to Chicago. He was swamped with resumes and was trying to narrow down his search for the best candidates for a face to face interview. We chatted for 20 min or so and he said I'd definately be getting a call back. Sure enough... I was leaving an interview, on my way back to work, and got a call to set up the face to face interview. Took half a personal day on a Monday, went to Chicago, had my interview and was offered the position the next day.

Had to do some negotiating regarding the salary, but finally we came to an agreement and I start my new job on October 10th. Will it be any better than my current job... hard to say but it will be more money and sometimes that can make more bullshit a bit more tolerable.