Day 2

I know I should be happy the scale didn't go up but I almost hate it as much when it stays the same too. Mine weighs in .2 increments but maybe I need to find a scale that weighs in .1 increments, any change, no matter how small works well for me..

have not gotten in workout or cardio today...I'm off today so I have this afternoon, early, when the gym is less crowded. George and I tried to go last night but somehow we ended up in an arguement. In some way it was my fault. I'm having a hard time with all the candy around the house. I want some so bad and I'm like a fucking junkie trying to not give in to their DRUG.

I don't think I can do this alone but more and more each day I realize I AM doing it alone.

When I was married and I started on this path of going from 215 to 130, I kept hoping that my husband would come around to living a healthier life too. He was supportive for a while, but I honestly believe he kept thinking that it was just another weight loss regime I was on and I would eventually go back like I always had in the past. He would come up with every excuse in the book to not even try this with me. I offered to pack all his lunches, I learned, over time, how to cook healthier and make sure it still tasted wonderful, yet nothing worked.

It became harder and harder to do this on my own and once again in my life I felt all alone. I am feeling the same way now. I'm not sure why I feel that way, in reality George and the kids are supportive of me. But I always have in the back of my head that resentment will eventually come. Is it being fair to them, me judging by my past? No but what else do we have to go on?