Day 3

Started off the day with a chest/back workout, then a run outside, it was much to beautiful here in Chicagoland to be indoors on the treadmill.

I was a bit pissed off this morning. for the 2nd time in less than a week, I had either asked George to work out and he didn't want to until 20 minutes after I had asked(this was sunday) realized he wasn't going to be ready until LATER as he put it, so I got in the shower and later happens to be after my shower??

Then today I didn't want him to feel I was pushing him, so I just asked if my working out downstairs would interfere with him getting work done, figuring if he wanted to get in a workout too, he woulda said 'mind if I join you' he didn't so I come upstairs after I'm done to get running gear, head downstairs to let him know I'm going for a run and what the fuck NOW all the sudden you want to work out. I don't get it. All I know is how much that knife felt plunged into my heart, similar to how my mother would make me feel, like I wasn't good enough. Why do you push me away in this area? Why am I not given a chance to change? Can't you understand the change won't happen overnight, but if never given the fucking opportunity what can be expected?

Then it was onto the learning center for results of Colin's test. Some great things and the others that were a bit lower than he should be weren't horrid AND the best part is I know they can help him and I know he will do well. It will mean about 180 hrs of instruction, 5 days a wk, 4 hrs a day, plus a trip from naperville to deerfield (an hour WITHOUT traffic) but I know the 'pain' that will be involved for all of us, will pay off 10 fold in the end. Colin actually seems excited about it too, granted it hasn't started yet but I will make every effort to make some fun of it, perhaps dinner at subway on occasion and maybe even a real treat when there is no school the next day, like a movie or something.

Something else that stuck in my craw but I just blew it off. We got to the center about 1/2 hr early, G had to use the restroom so we went to a place right there in the complex where learning center is. We both had not eaten so decided to sit at bar and grab a quick bite. I asked him what time it was, as we were waiting for our order, and he made some shitty comment about I guess I screwed up too with my choice of where to get something to eat... I didn't say a fucking thing other than I didn't have the centers number on me or we could call and say we were running just a bit late.. I was NOT fucking accusing anyone of anything.. I mean damn give me a break would ya - like I said I just blew it off, my concentration and focus had to be on what the center was going to tell us. But I honestly don't feel I deserved those words and the way they were spoken to me.